


drowning in misery, coffee and bad memories.

by teenagefgt



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, M/M, PTSD Percy, Percico - Freeform, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Wedding, because i hate when people do that, but maybe she's a little bitchy, i dont know, i love annabeth, i tried to make annabeth not bitchy, percabeth
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-22
Updated: 2015-03-17
Packaged: 2018-01-20 08:31:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1503782
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/teenagefgt/pseuds/teenagefgt
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Either way, Percy never thought he'd be engaged and pushing someone other than his fiancée against a bathroom wall."</p><p>In which there's this guy that Percy vaguely recognizes at first and a wedding that kind of gets forgotten. And horrid flashbacks. Really, though, Aphrodite did say his love life was going to be complicated.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. so there's this guy.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> read the end notes.

“How’re you and Annabeth doing?” the voice faltered, “You know, after all this.”

Percy pursed his lips, glancing over at Piper. She blew her hair out of her eyes and looked at Percy curiously. He kind of wanted to tell her to fuck off, but she’s one of his favourite people, so he smiled and told her that Annabeth and him are doing great – absolutely great.

Which is a lie.

“That’s good.” Piper smiled at Percy but her eyes showed concern as she continued, “Although, I’ve noticed that you two have been a bit different, recently.” She raised an eyebrow at Percy as she finished her statement, as if daring him to say they hate each other or something. Percy cursed her for being a daughter of Aphrodite. That’s unfair.

So, he said quickly, “We’re moving to Camp Jupiter soon.” He blinked fast, “Yeah. Since she’s, you know, helping them rebuild and stuff. We’ll be moving to the New Rome part. Or whatever.”

Piper’s grin was huge, “That’s awesome! Maybe me and Jason should do that.”

Then, she got up and went to find her boyfriend and Percy breathed a sigh of relief. The topic of Annabeth tired him out.

Annabeth was already in New Rome when Percy arrived. She was running her fingers gingerly over a marble column when Percy threw an arm over her shoulders, looking around. A clipboard was hugged to her chest.

“Where’s our place?” he asked, and Annabeth smiled and pointed at an apartment complex.

Percy got a job at a café in the area since Annabeth was always out, helping rebuild. _This is probably a good thing_ , Percy always mused, because he loves her but when she’s around he just. Just.

Percy’s fingers were shaking so bad that he dropped the cup of coffee he was holding and the shattering glass sent him back to the shore of the Cocytus, black glass chips getting stuck in his skin.

“Fuck.” He muttered, his breath rapid and shallow, trying to inhale as little sulphurous air as possible. He covered his face with his hands and tried to calm his heart beat.

Suddenly, there was a hand on his shoulder and he jumped, staring wide eyed at Annabeth (when did she get home?) and he wanted to vomit because her eyes are milky white. There were no traces of the stormy grey at all. Just milky white surrounded by scrunched down eyebrows and dark circles. Panicking, Percy pushed her away, trying even harder to breathe now.

“Percy.” She said, “It’s okay.”

Percy closed his eyes, and when he opened them, he was back in their apartment, standing among glass and coffee. Annabeth’s grey iris’ were visible and they’re sad and this is Percy’s best friend. He shouldn't be scared to be around her.

But he is. He really is.

* * *

 

Percy and Annabeth have lived together for three years. Although, the longer they’re together, the more they drift apart. Percy never noticed that Annabeth was avoiding him as much as he was avoiding her. He thought he was keeping her happy, that they were happy. He just wants to keep his best friend happy.

But Annabeth stopped calling him Seaweed Brain and she’s going to university and Percy’s still working at the café, cautious of everything he does.

He met this son of Aphrodite (or maybe it was Venus) once, and the guy asked Percy if he was happy.

“Content.” Percy replied.

“You and your girlfriend seem pretty happy.” The guy said, studying him carefully, “Ever thought about taking it to the next step?”

That was how Percy found himself buying this ring that’s silver and gold with diamonds and sapphires. He’s surprising Annabeth during classes and embarrassing her in front of her class mates. He’s getting down on one knee and swallowing all this doubt.

That’s a lot of doubt to swallow.

Annabeth’s smile was gentle, and she said yes and kissed his cheek. Her classmates cheered and Percy’s world was coming apart at the seams.

A week after getting engaged and telling all their friends of the good news, Percy finds himself frowning at a costumer who just walked into his café. He’s pretty sure he knows this guy but he can’t quite place the face, can’t find the name.

The guy is tall, toned in a lithe kind of way. He has freckles on his nose that stand out more so on his olive complexion then they should and circles under his dark eyes, like he hasn't seen a decent night of sleep in a while. His hair is short, curling around his ears and brushing his eyebrows. As the guy slips off his jacket, Percy’s eyes wander to the elegant tattoo coloring his left arm.

The guy walked up to the register and ordered a medium black coffee and Percy wants to cringe. Just hearing the words ‘black coffee’ makes his mouth feel gross because the taste is so bitter and _ugh_.

“Congrats.” The guy said as he handed over money, “On you and Annabeth.”

“Um.” Percy looked at him, eyes squinting. He only told Grover, Jason, Piper, Hazel and Frank. Who is this guy? “Thanks, man. But. Do I know?”

The guy smiled a bit at Percy, “No one recognizes me anymore!” he says with a light, forced laugh, “I haven’t changed that much, have I?”

Maybe if the guy had scowled at Percy instead of smiled, he would have recognized him faster, but he’s never seen Nico di Angelo laugh before. So, naturally, it took a while.

“So,” Percy raised an eyebrow, “I know you?”

“Yeah. Now, where’s my coffee?”

“Right.”

Percy decided to take his break early and sat with this guy at a table. He tilted his head curiously to the side, “Are you going to tell me who you are?”

The guy reached across the table, and Percy shook his hand, “Hi. I’m Nico.”

A grin broke across Percy’s face, and wow. Nico’s doing better than anyone he knows.

“Holy Hades.” Percy breathed, “How long has it been?”

“Almost four years, I suppose.” Said Nico thoughtfully.

“You look amazing.”

At that comment, Nico flushed red and ducked his head. He changed the subject, “So, when’s the wedding?”

Percy pursed his lips, holding back a cringe, “Hopefully, never.” He whispered, not knowing Nico caught it. Just as he was about to say probably next year, Nico goes “What?”

 _Crap_ , Percy thought and blinked owlishly at Nico before giving in and sighing, "I just. I'm young, you know? I'm 20, for the love of God. I don't know why I proposed so early.

Nico frowned for a second before going, "That's a lie."

A quizzical look was shot Nico's way. The younger man took a sip of coffee and continued, "You wear your heart on your sleeve, Percy."

Percy opened his mouth then hesitated: "Oh."

 "Who am I going to tell?"

"When did you become so social?" Percy didn't mean it as an insult or anything, he's just genuinely surprised.

Nico laughed at that, a deep, soft chuckle into his cup as he took another sip and Percy decided he likes that laugh a lot more than an awkward, forced girly giggle.

Then Nico's looking at him, waiting and Percy broke down.

"Don't take this the wrong way." started Percy, eyes wide and pleading for Nico to understand, "I still love her. She's still my best friend. It's just. Every time she's around, all I see and feel and think of is - " his voice cracks.

"Tartarus." Nico offered.

For a moment, Percy's back there, washing up on the shore of the Cocytus and he's breathing in toxic air. His eyes are watering and he goes to look to Nico for help, for a reminder that he's just at work.

But he only sees Misery and his hands are those of a corpse and screams are echoing in his ears. His breath is rapid and Nyx is so real, so loud and her voice is piercing through his mind, his consciousness.

"Percy?"

Then it's Nico again, kneeling beside his chair with his eyebrows scrunched down in concern.

"Yeah." Percy didn't realize he had his ears covered until he had to move his hands. He grinned sheepishly at Nico, "Hi."

Nico raised his eyebrows at Percy then stood up, moving back to his chair.

"I should get back to work." mumbled Percy as he stood on wobbly legs, "It was awesome seeing you again, man. Stick around, yeah? Don't disappear for another four years, you had every one worried."

"I can't promise anything." Nico smiled and Percy left with his own smile.

A couple minutes later, Percy's watching Nico leave and he wonders if he really will disappear again or not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, Annabeth is suffering from PTSD, too, for those of you wondering. It's why she's avoiding Percy and throwing herself into her building of New Rome and her classes. It's just that this is written in Percy's POV and that's why Annabeth's PTSD isn't written in depth.


	2. he's not around enough.

_He doesn't._

~~~

The next day, Nico di Angelo showed up at Percy's cafe. (Okay, he doesn't own it, but he sure as hell treats it better than the actual owner. So, it's his. Shut up.)

So, it was 7 am and there's Nico di Angelo walking into Percy's cafe. He ordered a large black coffee to go and Percy asked him what he was up to that morning; 

"Not running away on me again, are you?" 

"Yep." and Nico's expression and tone of voice was so serious that Percy's smile faltered for a moment.

Then, Nico scoffed and waved him off, "Don't look so sad, I was kidding."

"Good." Percy breathed a sigh of relief as he handed Nico his coffee, "I need someone like you around."

"What's that supposed to mean?" asked Nico with furrowed eyebrows.

_(Someone besides Annabeth who understands.)_

Smiling, Percy said, "Nothing." and ran his fingers through his hair, "Nothing."

Nico shrugged and inclined his head in goodbye, "See you around."

~~~

Annabeth came home one day to Percy and Nico playing video games.

They were sitting in the middle of the floor with pillows covering the floor and chip bags and pop cans strewn everywhere. Her eyes narrowed at this guy sitting beside Percy with the freckles and the short hair.

"Perce?" Annabeth said, but right at the same moment, Nico's controller died and he threw it to the ground,

"Holy Hades!" he shouted as Percy won, "That's cheap!"

"You mad?" Throwing his head back, Percy started laughing. It was that laugh from long ago that used to have Annabeth flushing and laughing with him. She hasn't heard that laugh in a long time, and she couldn't help herself from smiling.

"Little bit, yeah." but Nico was also laughing, and Annabeth saw her 14 year old self in the way that he was blushing beside Percy, too. Not knowing who he was was starting to bother her.

"Percy?" Annabeth tried one more time, and Percy's eyes opened, his smile wavering.

Her heart dropped at the way his expression changed, but she continued anyway, "Why do you have someone over at 3 in the morning?" She crossed her arms tightly against her chest.

Nico pressed his lips together tightly, and turned his gaze to the ground. His posture straightened remarkably and he began to crack his knuckles out of nervous habit.

"It's 3 am?" Percy's eyes go wide, "Where have you been at 3 am?"

Annabeth waved him off, "That's not the point-"

"Did you walk home?" Percy kept asking, concern washing over his every feature, "Alone?! Are you hurt? Did anyone hurt you?"

Grinning wide, Annabeth answered, "No, no, I'm fine. People know not to mess with me, Perce." She flashed him a smug smirk, then looked over to Nico. Percy seemed to come to attention then, because his lips formed an 'o' and he turned around to his friend.

"You wanna stay the night, Nico?" he asked and Nico stood up fast, shaking his head.

"N-no, it's fine. I apologize for over staying my welcome, I - I wasn't aware it was so late." stuttered Nico as he grabbed his jacket and slipped past Annabeth to the door. He nodded at her, a quiet, "good to see you again." slipping past his lips. Then he was stepping into his shoes and disappearing.

The second the door closed, Annabeth turned a smile onto Percy, "di Angelo?"

Percy nodded.

"He got attractive."

"Nah," disagreed Percy, "He got healthy."

~~~

So, maybe Nico didn't run away yet, but he sure isn't around as often as Percy would like him to be. He stops in once a week with a box of pop and tells Percy to order pizza. Then, he either puts on some stupid game they don't take seriously and beat in 5 hours or some movie that Nico feels he has to watch because of all the decades he's missed. So far, they've been through _Silence of the Lambs_ , all the _Alien_ movies and _Aliens vs Predators_ , all the _Jurassic Park_ movies and a few really old ones that Percy can't remember the name too.

Most of the time, Annabeth isn't home and Percy's kind of grateful for that. (He feels a bit guilty for feeling grateful about this so just. Don't)

He just doesn't want to feel on edge and cautious about everything he does when he's around Nico. To put it frankly, Percy only feels somewhat okay when he's with Nico.

It's been a few months when Nico shadow travelled into Percy's living room around 1 in the morning because he know's Percy too well. Percy is still awake and playing _Dragon Age II_. Nico patiently waited until Percy was done the quest he was on before making himself known.

Percy nearly jumped out of his skin when Nico collapsed onto the couch beside him.

"Uh. Hi." Percy said, oh so very elegantly.

"Hi." Nico blinked at him.

Pausing the game, Percy turned to face Nico completely. He pulled his bare feet onto the couch and tucked them under himself. He rested his elbows on his knees and his head on his palms, "What's up?"

"Let's go somewhere tomorrow."

Percy raised an eyebrow, but Nico's gaze didn't waver, "Let's go to the movies or out for lunch or something. We're just always inside."

Without really thinking before speaking, (Which isn't uncommon with Percy) Percy said, "That sounds like a date."

Nico scoffed, "That's ridiculous. You're engaged."

At the mention of his fiancée, Percy's guts twisted uncomfortably. His lungs were assaulted by sulfuric air as he continued to breathe and his stomach threatened to reject everything he's eaten in the past few hours.

Then, Annabeth's voice called out, "Who're you talking, too, Percy?" but she sounded exactly like the echoing voice of Tartarus, attacking him from every angle and Percy started to hyperventilate. In his rush to the bathroom, Percy tripped over himself and fell to his knees in front of the toilet, vomiting.

_(When did things turn into this?)_

On his way back to the living room, Percy told Annabeth not to worry about him and to go back to sleep. 

He noticed that Nico was gone, but there was a note sitting on his controller about seeing him tomorrow.

~~~

Percy's a bit too excited about going out to lunch with Nico. So, naturally, he canceled.

~~~

It was a quick conversation:

"Lets get married next month."

"Why?"

There was doubt and worry in her voice and doubt and worry in his eyes. Neither of them missed it.

"Because you're my future." ( _and my greatest fear.)_

"O-okay."


	3. maybe it's a good thing.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Percy probably shouldn't do this. Any of this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm, like, 4 weeks late awh jeez I'm sorry. I suck at this updating thing.

There was this time, a week before Percy's wedding when Nico stopped in. He had a smile on his face that could probably shatter like glass at the slightest of touches, and his arms were crossed over his chest.

"You owe me that lunch, Jackson." he stated, with a raised eyebrow and Percy laughed, threw his arm around Nico's shoulder. His muscles tensed at the feel of Nico, the desire to pull his as close as he could. He's supposed to marry Annabeth. She's his destiny, his fate, his best friend.

(his biggest fear, his trigger, his bad memories.  his knotted stomach, his burned nerves. she's the shattered glass under his feet.)

"Let's go then, Corpsebreath." replied Percy, trying to remember how to breathe.

Nico scowled at the nickname, "I hate you, Kelpface." he muttered.

"You love me." Percy's stomach dropped as he said that because realization hit him that he really wants that to be true. 

"Yeah." Scoffed Nico, "Sure." and he shadow-travelled them out of the apartment.

~~~

Jason and Leo tried to plan a bachelor's party for Percy 6 day's before the wedding. At first, it was a joke, but then Leo was taking it a bit too seriously and having too much fun. Percy really did not want a bachelors party. He just want's to get the wedding done and over with.

"Wait." Nico holds up his hand, stopping Percy, "No party?"

It's something like 6 pm and Percy decided to cook because Annabeth was out and he was bored. He ended up cooking up some concoction of spaghetti and garlic toast and pulling out a bottle of wine. (When did he start liking wine?) It was just Percy and the hum of Ed Sheeran coming from his iPod dock and the smell of pasta and wine. He thought it was going to be a quiet night until he turned around, saw Nico watching him curiously and nearly screamed.

( _Stop shadow travelling in here! There's a door, you know!_ )

That's how he found himself having a very Italian dinner with Nico in a quiet apartment and Ed Sheeran singing about sunburns and missing someone. Percy's never really seen Nico eat before, so not only was it quite a shock to see him eat but to see him eat with such delicacy. The delicate way Nico twirled his spaghetti on his spoon and never talked with his mouth full was adorable. Even if Percy made him laugh while he was chewing, he'd cover his mouth. Percy's never even seen a girl eat like this, except maybe some Aphrodite girls.

"No." replied Percy, looking up at Nico, "No party."

The younger put his elbow on the table and rested his jaw on his hand, pouting at Percy, "That take's away all the fun."

Percy rolled his eyes, "Consider this a party then." he retorted, sarcastically.

Pursing his lips, Nico glanced at the food, then the dim kitchen due to the sunlight streaming through the dark room and then at the iPod docker singing about falling in love. He looked back at Percy with an amused smile and a sad sparkle in his eyes, "This looks more like a date to me."

Without really thinking, Percy tilted his head and answered, "That could work."

Wait.

Percy's brain came to a screeching halt. Is he attempting to flirt with Nico? Okay wait. Nico di Angelo? The guy who was once believed to have a crush on Annabeth Chase, Percy's now-finacee? The guy who used to absolutely despise him? The guy he knew he would never be able to lie to because there was something in the eyes of the 10 year old that made Percy trip over himself in his attempts to make Nico happy?

Nico di Angelo, the guy he's picturing walking down the aisle toward him in a white suit. Shit.

"Hey, corpsebreath."Percy cut off his own thoughts, blinking hard, "Can I tell you something?"

When he looked at Nico again, Nico was watching him expectantly.

Percy sighed, "I don't know how I feel about Annabeth anymore."

Nico frowned, "Is it because of the -"

"No!" interjected Percy, not wanting to think of that, "I mean, yes. But. I'm not." he stopped, swallowed and looked away from Nico, suddenly burning in the cheeks and insecure, "I don't find her as - as attractive as I used too, you know? Like, she's still beautiful, just - just not my type of beautiful any more. I don't know if she ever really was." Percy cringed at the way that sounded.

"What is your type, then?" 

Percy's guy twisted and his tongue swelled. He thought at first, he'll always hate himself for just blurting it right out like he did. He just wasn't thinking - is that uncommon with him? 

"You."

Nico's posture straightened immediately. His eyes steeled over and he flattened his piano hands on the table. The chair squeaked against the floor as he pushed back from the table roughly, "You're kidding." he spat as he swiped up his jacket and started to walk away.

 Panicking, Percy stood and pleaded, "Nico, wait."

Nico turned sharply on his heels, pinning Percy down with a hard glare, "This is some sick joke, isn't it?" venom dripped from his voice.

It took Percy a moment but he remembered that Nico wasn't from this era. He was from the era where you would get disowned and possibly murdered for being interested in the same gender as you. This kind of stuff wasn't accepted back then. Nico probably think's he's disgusting, he's probably ready to never talk to him again. Shit. Percy should of kept his feelings to himself, he shouldn't have risked his friendship with Nico. By the Gods, Annabeth always told him he wore his emotions on his sleeve.

"No. No, Nico, it's not." he squeezed his eyes shut, not really knowing what to do besides go with it at this point. He just hoped Nico would hear him out.

"I - I know you're from an era wh-" Nico raised his eyebrows and his lips were slightly parted. There was a wild question in his eyes, like _are you kidding me right now?,_ "Where different sexualities aren't allowed so this may be weird - but. But. Just don't go back to hating me?" Percy finished lamely.

Silence wrapped around their bones and Percy shuffled, hands getting shoved into his pockets. He cast his eyes to his cold bare feet as he felt the back of his eyes burn with forming tears. Damn it.

"Don't hate me." his voice cracked and he felt really pathetic right about now.

"Hate you?" Nico's voice was surprisingly missing the previous malice but when Percy looked up, he still looked severely pissed off.

"Well," Percy shrugged, "Yeah."

Nico's expression softened and his eyes lightened up as something dawned on him, "Oh" he said breathlessly, and he stepped closer to Percy, "I've never hated you."

Percy's eyebrows scrunched down in confusion, "Then, was it Annabeth?"

Shaking his head, Nico answered, "It's always been you."

"Uh -" ( _Very elegant, Percy_ ) "Are you saying-?"

Nico threw his hands up in the air out of frustration, a ragged breath tearing through his throat. As he looks back to Percy, he begin's to say something, but gets cut off.

There's Percy grabbing his face and sliding his fingers along his jaw like they belong there, like they've always belonged there. 

There's Percy stepping into his personal space and fitting their hipbones and their noses together like they're puzzle pieces, like this is where they've always meant to be.

There's Percy smiling against his skin and looking like he's trying to hold himself back from doing something rash. However, Nico's not really paying attention to that because he's trying not to go cross eyed from focusing on Percy's eyes. His finger tips are digging into Percy's waist and he can't breathe, he really can't breathe.

Then, Percy's asking quietly, "Can I?" like he's scared and Nico realizes that this may be the first time Percy has thought before acting. So, naturally, he points it out and Percy's laugh is breathless and puffs warmly against his skin.

"Why are you thinking before acting now?" whispers Nico, continuing his statement.

"Because it's you."

At that, Nico wants to let Percy kiss him, really, but what about when Percy let Bianca die? Why didn't he think about Nico and the promise he had before he let that happen? But then there was that time Nico was trapped by giants and Percy dropped everything to detour and save him. Nico's thought's could probably go back and forth like this for a very long time but Percy's nudging his nose and Nico feels the urge to push him away.

"You're engaged." his eyes are half lidded and the words slip past his lips on his breath.

Percy fits their lips together instead of acknowledging that statement and Nico forget's what he said.


	4. and his guilt is eating him away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, the last time I was really late with an update, it was because it was the end of the school year, and finals and such. Now, I'm really late with an update because it's summer break and I've lost all concept of time and day. Whoops.

Annabeth tapped Percy on the shoulder the next day when he was playing video games. She patiently waited until it was safe for him to pause it without being bombarded with enemies punching him the moment he unpaused it. When he did pause it, Annabeth just kind of went:

"Reyna is coming over."

Percy turned off his video game and stepped into a pair of shoes and left the apartment. He had nothing against Reyna, not at all. He just wasn't stupid enough to miss the signs when Annabeth wanted him to leave. There wasn't really anything he could think to do outside, and he didn't know how to get a hold of Nico, so he wandered around, hoping to find him.

Nico had been found sitting on the patio of Percy's cafe. The sun was beating down on him, making his cheeks flush and his skin glow like Apollo had personally given him a blessing of a thousand suns. Percy sits beside him and grabs his cup of coffee, taking a sip. Just like always, it had no sugar or cream and Percy cringed, placing it back down in front of Nico. His eyes narrowed sharply at Nico and he stood up:

"C'mon, I don't wanna be at work on my day off." he stated, huffing.

Grunting, Nico chugged the rest of his coffee and pushed his chair back, "Fine."

Now, here's Percy's issue:

He never thought that he would be the type to have an affair. Then again, you have to consider it a relationship before you consider whatever this is as an affair, right? Right. Percy's brain hurt at the trouble of trying to justify this.

Either way, Percy never thought he'd be engaged and pushing someone other than his fiancée against a bathroom wall.

The moment they entered the bathroom, Percy dragged Nico flush against him, locking their lips together and Nico's lips were like the galaxies edge. Percy knows he'll never get tired of kissing Nico.

The hand dryer within the bathroom went off as they passed it, but Percy and Nico didn't even notice. They were too occupied by each other to even notice that there was someone in one of the bathroom stalls. Thankfully, Percy pushed Nico back into a stall before the stranger had a chance to see who they were.

Nearly tripping over Nico's feet, Percy managed to get them both into a bathroom stall and get the door closed without pulling his lips away from Nico's once. Percy pressed his hands tight onto Nico's body and ran them down his waist and thighs. A puff of breath stuttered across Percy's lips as his hips ground down onto Nico's. Percy grabbed the back of Nico's thighs and hoisted his legs up and around his waist. Hooking his ankles together behind Percy, Nico used his legs to press Percy closer to him, bodies flush against each other. Percy could feel Nico's fingers dragging down his back and pulling on his hair and he really could not imagine something better - having Nico here, fitted against him like this.

~~~

The wedding was in five days and Annabeth was finally bothering Percy to go get fitted for a tux with his grooms mates. She kept poking and prodding at him all day ( _You're running out of time, Perseus._ ) She would frown at him when he waved her off, saying he had a lot of time and she'd put her hands on her hips ( _This was your idea, Percy._ ) 

Eventually, Percy gave in and that was how he found himself standing on a pedestal in front of three mirror's. A man with steady hands and old eyes was pinching the material of the tux and muttering to himself around the pins in between his lips.

Behind Percy, was Grover, Nico, Jason, Frank and Leo. In the reflection, Percy watched as Leo took a silk red tie and tied it around his neck. He then yanked it above his head and pretended to choke and _yeah_ , Percy mentally agreed with him, snickering. The tailor scolded them, telling them to grow up. He was a grumpy old man, really, but Percy frowned and behaved himself. 

He distracted himself by watching Nico wander quietly around the room, nodding at the suits he liked and cringing at the puke green coloured ones and the pale blue ones. Grover was the only one to notice the fond look on Percy's face and where his gaze was trained through the mirror.

He thought the feelings he felt on Percy's end of the empathy linked they shared were directed to Annabeth.

Grover only crossed his arms and sighed.

When Percy got home, Annabeth was sitting on the couch, curled up with a book and her hair pulled up into a messy ponytail. She had thin wired glasses perched on her nose and Percy wondered how long it's been since they've really conversed properly because he can't recall when she got those glasses. He guessed looking over small print blue prints and text books would eventually start to ruin her eyes. Annabeth looked up when she heard the door slam and smiled, albeit forcefully, "Good, you're home."

"Yeah." Percy sat beside her, the air between them tingling with tension. He won't pretend to ignore it. They just aren't the same any more, "What's up?"

Closing her book and leaning forward, Annabeth avoided touching him as she placed it on the coffee table. He can't blame her. She still smells like death and sulfur if she gets too close to him and frankly, that scares him a bit.

"I heard Nico's a grooms mate." She muttered, and Percy licked his lips, nodding.

"Why?" asked Annabeth, not looking directly at Percy.

As his eyebrows scrunched down into a confused gaze, Percy tilted his head, "Well, why not? We've known the kid since he was ten. He's a good friend, Annabeth."

Raising an eyebrow at him, Annabeth carefully retorted, "Good enough to be in our wedding?"

Percy didn't think she meant for that to sound rude but the tone of her voice tugged at something in his gut anyway.

"I know him, Annabeth." stated Percy, matter of factly as he stood up, "He's an amazing guy. I want him in our wedding."

Leaning back into the couch, Annabeth sighed and pushed up her glasses, then ran her fingers through her hair. Sometimes she forgot how stubborn Percy was. She looked at Percy over the rim of her glasses and pursed her lips, "So be it."

Smiling tightly, Percy bid her goodnight and went to his room. He didn't sleep well that night.

~~~

There was a gentle knock on the door and Percy's fingers twitched and fumbled with his tie at the sound.

"Come in." he called, his words slipping out of his mouth on a defeated sigh. The door creaked open but Percy heard no footsteps after that, and no one said anything. Turning around, Percy's eyes burned with tears.

Standing in the doorway with straight back posture and a guarded expression was Nico di Angelo. Nico's expression was so guarded and his muscles so stiff, it almost looked like he had a thousand galaxies under his skin that he would die trying to protect. It looked like if he let his guard slip for one moment, he would bleed out exploding suns and crowded heavens would roll off his bones. Staring at Nico in this exact moment, he resembled fractured constellations and Percy wondered if he was made up of all the universes beauty. All mystery and infinity laid out on a sparkling platter of worlds and corners ready to be discovered and Percy desperately wanted to be the one to discover them.

Percy bit down on his cheek and gestured Nico in. The door fell closed behind the younger man and he even walked like the universe was laying out a red carpet for him to walk on, quiet footsteps and shoulders back. Graceful.

When Nico was within arms length, Percy reached out and grabbed the collar of his suit jacket, "What am I doing?" he whispered, voice like shattered glass and Nico smiled weakly at him.

"Getting married." replied Nico, voice as smooth as the Milky Way.

Shaking his head, Percy replied, "I don't want to marry her."

"I know."

"And," Percy pressed his forehead against Nico's, hands running up and over his shoulders so his arms rested loosely around Nico's neck. Nico's hands were intertwined and resting on Percy's lower back and Percy muttered, "What'll you do?"

"Leave."

That word pulled so harshly on Percy's chest, he felt suddenly light headed and as if his heart was crawling out of his throat. He almost couldn't get his next words out:

"You can't."

"You can't continue to cheat on Annabeth either."

Percy felt Nico's fingers unlocking and his arms moving, and he wanted to hold on tighter. He wanted to shut his eyes and pretend that it was just him and Nico. There were fingers at the base of his neck suddenly, and Percy didn't even notice that he had closed his eyes. Upon opening them, he watched Nico straighten his collar and tie his tie for him. 

Then, Nico pulled back out of Percy's grip and the universe was walking away from him.

( _Nico's feet were moving slow, like he couldn't bare to walk away from him, but he had to. They both knew this was it and that was Percy's fault._ )

A thousand galaxies were smiling and whispering a last promise of, "You'll do great."

( _H_ _e could hear it in Nico's voice, "You'll do great with the ceremony and a life without me. A life married to your biggest trigger for PTSD. Your destiny."_ )

A million stars were closing the door gently.

( _Percy wished he left mad at him, slamming the door and yelling. That would've been easier to see then the pure look of heavyhearted abandon.)_

Percy clenched his jaw and felt a tear drip down his cheek.


	5. everything comes to an end, of course

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was for the best.

Before Percy Jackson could comprehend anything, he was standing in front of the alter.

His eyes unfocused as he watched his best friends walk down the isle with Annabeth's chosen bridesmaids and he kept shifting back and forth on his feet. Grover was standing behind him, and he could feel Grover's worry over him so strongly through their empathy link. It made him dizzy.

Then, there was Annabeth and the music filling the room turned into a deafening ring. The scene around him changed as he blinked. First, it was the glass crunching under his feet, then it was the fire, and the ominous black fog lingering on the edges of the room. The Rivers of the Underworld whispered to him, the thundering footsteps of monsters shaking his bones. The air was acidic and hard to breathe in. And Annabeth walked towards him like a limping corpse, her milky white eyes looked upon him with concern. Percy was breathing heavy and blinking rapidly, hoping for it to change back before he curled into himself.

"Percy?" it was a faint whisper, barely heard over the thunderous footsteps.

A hand gripped his bicep and Percy was turning wide eyes onto Nico.

Percy began shaking his head vigorously, his normal, calm façade crumbling in on itself. He let out a dry sob and his posture dropped, his bones becoming too heavy for him to withstand. His knees began to shake and he reached out, groping blindly for something to grab onto as the view of Nico began to waver and fade. When he was finally able to grab a hold of something, or someone, Percy held onto it with a white knuckle grip.

"Percy," he heard a faint voice, a familiar voice, "You're okay. I got you."

Percy didn't know he was crying until he saw the tear drops soaking through his shirt. He felt strong arms wrap around his waist, firm and supporting and he recognized that smell. That smell taking over his senses was familiar, normal - it was home.

When he looked up, Paul Blofis was staring at him intently, a stern look of fatherly love and determination in his eyes. Percy didn't even know they were going to be able to make it to this wedding (he can't even say it's his) with them moving out to British Columbia for Paul's work. 

But, here he is and there's his mother, almost in tears with worry over her little boy having a mental break down at the alter. 

The Alter. Percy's mind fogged over all over again. He tried to lock his knees, stop them from shaking so much. He tried to pull his own weight back onto his own two feet. He tried to breathe but with every breath came a sob.

That's when he realized he wasn't the only one sobbing.

Behind him, Annabeth was trying to keep quiet herself. The back of her hand was pressed to her mouth and her eyes were closed tightly shut to try to stop the tears. She wasn't built for crying. She was Annabeth - head strong, smart, stone cold façade in the face of disaster Annabeth. But her shoulders were shaking gently and Piper was stroking her arm and Hazel was combing her fingers through Annabeth's hair, humming a calming lullaby.

Struggling to get his balance, Percy carefully made his way toward Annabeth and Paul barely let go of him.

With shaking fingers, Percy brushed Annabeth's beautiful golden hair out of her face and pushed her hand away. Her narrow face was flushed red, her bottom lip chewed raw from trying to keep the sobs at bay. The back of her hand was just as soaked as her cheeks and her eyelids had already started swelling up from the tears.

This was the face of a warrior - too young to be a warrior. This was the face of a woman who needed to find herself, for she never had the chance amidst a war they were forced to fight. This was the face of a woman who saw too much and who didn't say enough.

Percy gently cupped Annabeth's face and placed a feather soft kiss to her forehead.

"This wasn't meant for us." he whispered, and his voice was low, raspy. Worn out.

The shaking of her shoulders began to ease up and Annabeth nodded solemnly, "I know."

_("I'm sorry."_

_"I know")_

With a soft, serene smile, Percy looked down at his best friend, and wiped away her tears with his thumbs. Despite the smeared eye liner and the running mascara and the bloodshot eyes, Annabeth still looked as beautiful as ever. She smiled tentatively back, and Percy pressed his forehead to hers lovingly, their shallow breaths mixing together;

"You'll always be my Wise Girl."

Annabeth let out a long shaky breath, "You too, Seaweed Brain." 

* * *

 

There was a loud thunk and a jingle of keys that disrupted the silence of the empty apartment. It echoed through the bare halls and soaked into the soft carpets.

"Smell that?" There was a dramatic, deep intake of breath, "The start of something beautiful."

"Stop being such a sap, Percy, and be useful." Nico whined as he pushed Percy out of the way and dumped his bag next to Percy's.

Percy huffed and grabbed Nico's hand as he tried to walk off again. He spun him around and pulled the younger man in close, planting a kiss on the tip of his nose, "I'm excited, okay? Let me have that."

Wiggling out of his grasp, Nico scrunched up his nose and looked thoughtful for a moment before stating, "No" and walking away.

"Hey!" Percy went after him, lips pursed, "That's not fair."

"How about," started Nico, looking at Percy from the corner of his eye, "We can both be as excited as we want, after we get everything moved in. The moving truck people are waiting outside."

It's been six years since Percy and Annabeth left each other at the alter. Last he heard, Annabeth met a boy at Camp Jupiter. Son of Belladonna, maybe? Something like that. He also heard that Annabeth and Reyna were dating for a while.

He tried to keep in touch with her, but they were both so busy all the time. It was hard. They occasionally get together for coffee, once every few months. Effort was never the case with Annabeth and Percy - they always put in every last ounce of effort they had. It was exceptionally easier now that they didn't feel obligated to, however.

Within those six years, Percy's PTSD had subsided drastically. He has episodes, sure. His triggers will always be embedded onto his soul, crawling under his skin. But, he's doing better. He's been working on treating it, getting it under control. Stuff like that. Nico was pushing him to do it, actually.

Within those six years, he and Nico had spent a lot of time together, made a lot of stupid choices that will surely turn into fond memories years later. When they're sitting around on their balcony with friends, reminiscing, Percy will most likely remember that time they were at a Halloween party around 1 am. Nico had dragged Percy off into the corridor, whispered promises of staying up until the sun rose. Percy ended up fucking Nico into the wall of the elevator and scarring a poor lady three floors down who was just trying to live her life. While telling this story, Nico will most likely be telling him to shut up, that their friends didn't need to hear that, but everyone would be laughing anyway.

As Percy slowed his stride to a stop in the middle of the hallway, he watched Nico keep walking. He kept getting so caught up in his excitement and the future with Nico he's (hoping) to have that he kept forgetting to appreciate the now.

With a small smile on his face, Percy watched Nico's back, watched the way he walked and the way he held himself and how it differed so much from fourteen year old Nico. Now, the younger man walks with a stride that a King would envy, radiating confidence and power and control. It was a gradual change in Nico's demeanour, and Percy watched it all and loved him more for every moment of it.

Percy wasn't sure how long he had been staring at Nico's retreating back for, lost in his thoughts. His daydream was broken when Nico turned around, hands shoved in his pockets and smiled that small, genuine, heart warming smile at him, "Hurry up, Kelpface."

He started running down the hall to catch up to Nico, wanting nothing more than to just kiss that stupid little smile that makes his heart stop beating and his stomach flutter. So, he does exactly that.

Catching up with Nico near the front staircase of their building, in front of a large window, Percy skidded to a dramatic stop in front of Nico, blocking his path, He grabbed his face and kissed him so hard he heard the breath puff out of Nico's lungs in an instant.

"This is it." Percy mumbled against Nico's lips as the Son of Hades gripped his waist and pulled him closer, "This is our life now."

"I know" and suddenly, Nico sounded nervous. Like being together for almost the last six years meant nothing and Percy was going to leave him any moment.

( _because everyone always leaves, don't they._ )

Percy kissed him again, gentler this time. He tilted Nico's head back a touch, and locked their lips together, soft like a feather. That brief, light kiss spoke so many words, so many _I'm not leaving you_ 's and _this is where I'm supposed to be_ 's and _don't worry_ 's. Maybe one day he'll figure out how to put it all into words, how he feels about Nico, but right now Percy is slowly pulling away from Nico and watching his eyelashes flutter. His fingers are dancing across Nico's rough olive skin and he can't help but feel as though a thousand stars are bursting into existence every time he kisses Nico, like it's the first time their lips touched all over again. It's been six years and Percy still sees exploding galaxies beneath his skin and constellations in his eyes.

Nico puffs a breath over Percy's face, effectively blowing hair out of his eyes and says; "We should get a dog."

"Or two."


End file.
